The spider crawls back to it's cobweb
The mother cries over the death bed
The father reaches out to hold her
Face of an angel, hair so golden
Is it really as it seems?
A world of grey - that's all death brings?
The rain is falling gently earthbound
Much like the lives of all those around
Is it really as it seems?
A world of grey - that's all death brings?
Can we really have a future?
Death's not the end - just hold on to her
You knew it all along
His hand is firmly on her
She is moving on
To places so much better
You knew it along
His plans are so much bigger
Yes, she is moving on
To a place that's so much better
Is this really as it seems?
A world of grey - that's all death brings?
Can we really have a future?
Death's not the end - just hold on to her
The spider crawls back to it's cobweb
Original Lyrics by bricrane 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
thinking can be dangerous
I've been thinking about writing this blog over the last few days... and now that I am actually writing it, I'm finding it much harder to think of the words to write. Let me explain.
A lot of changes are occuring in my life. Some that I have control of, some that I do not (although, one could possibly argue that I don't acutally have control of anything in my life.. or that that control is limited to the choices I make...) And, to be frank, those changes are a little overwhelming! It's not just that I'll be heading back to uni - something I swore I would never do again - or that my parents have moved back from Melbourne - I love my parents, why wouldn't I want to be closer to them? - or that the people and times seem to be changing around me. They say there's two constants in life - death and taxes. Death TO taxes. Change is the only ever-present constant. I don't hate change. I fear it. Especially when I don't know what IT is.
And so we do a round circle and end up at a blog I wrote some time ago, about fears...
Like anyone ever reads these blogs...
But fear, or fears, are not the point to this blog. This blog is about the ordinary. And about the future. And now I remember how this blog was originally going to start:
"There's no knight in shining armour or prince on a white stallion. No one is going to knock on your door or run into you on the street and sweep you off your feet. You can't just wait. You have to find him."
That's a vague quote from a friend of mine. And it's true, isn't it? We fantasize. We want something, quite literally, fantastical to happen in our lives, for our 'dreams to come true'. I considered that it could just be laziness that lead me to believe (as every young girl and boy does) that, whatever it may be, my dreams could come true. But that's just it, I'm not a young girl anymore. I've developed an intense need for the logical in my life. Perhaps if I were more eccentric (or more deluded) or more motivated (or more wealthy) then those dreams could become a possibilty. But everything in my nature tells me that they are simply that: dreams. Figments of my imagination. Sure, they may be based upon things in my life and spring forth from observing their fullfilment in others' lives. But, for me, they are nothing more than fantastical. Is that depressing? Yeah, sure is. But, for me, as I think about those things again (things I may never voice due to the fear (and the realisation) that they won't ever happen), it's easier to not try - not due to laziness, perhaps due to fear, or lack of self-confidence, or because my logic speaks the truth.
Fantastical things do not happen to ordinary people.
I don't think I'll be back on here for a while. Mostly because this blog is really more to get my lyrics down (and why? how pointless it seems now...) and because I won't be able to write many songs what with living with my parents again (and they're accutely opposite sleeping habits). So, instead, I will now post a few more recent songs (one as recent as the last 24hrs). Maybe someone will, someday, read the lyrics and... no. Fantastical things do not happen to ordinary people. End of story.
A lot of changes are occuring in my life. Some that I have control of, some that I do not (although, one could possibly argue that I don't acutally have control of anything in my life.. or that that control is limited to the choices I make...) And, to be frank, those changes are a little overwhelming! It's not just that I'll be heading back to uni - something I swore I would never do again - or that my parents have moved back from Melbourne - I love my parents, why wouldn't I want to be closer to them? - or that the people and times seem to be changing around me. They say there's two constants in life - death and taxes. Death TO taxes. Change is the only ever-present constant. I don't hate change. I fear it. Especially when I don't know what IT is.
And so we do a round circle and end up at a blog I wrote some time ago, about fears...
Like anyone ever reads these blogs...
But fear, or fears, are not the point to this blog. This blog is about the ordinary. And about the future. And now I remember how this blog was originally going to start:
"There's no knight in shining armour or prince on a white stallion. No one is going to knock on your door or run into you on the street and sweep you off your feet. You can't just wait. You have to find him."
That's a vague quote from a friend of mine. And it's true, isn't it? We fantasize. We want something, quite literally, fantastical to happen in our lives, for our 'dreams to come true'. I considered that it could just be laziness that lead me to believe (as every young girl and boy does) that, whatever it may be, my dreams could come true. But that's just it, I'm not a young girl anymore. I've developed an intense need for the logical in my life. Perhaps if I were more eccentric (or more deluded) or more motivated (or more wealthy) then those dreams could become a possibilty. But everything in my nature tells me that they are simply that: dreams. Figments of my imagination. Sure, they may be based upon things in my life and spring forth from observing their fullfilment in others' lives. But, for me, they are nothing more than fantastical. Is that depressing? Yeah, sure is. But, for me, as I think about those things again (things I may never voice due to the fear (and the realisation) that they won't ever happen), it's easier to not try - not due to laziness, perhaps due to fear, or lack of self-confidence, or because my logic speaks the truth.
Fantastical things do not happen to ordinary people.
I don't think I'll be back on here for a while. Mostly because this blog is really more to get my lyrics down (and why? how pointless it seems now...) and because I won't be able to write many songs what with living with my parents again (and they're accutely opposite sleeping habits). So, instead, I will now post a few more recent songs (one as recent as the last 24hrs). Maybe someone will, someday, read the lyrics and... no. Fantastical things do not happen to ordinary people. End of story.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Wandering Thoughts
Driving home that night I thought of you
My mind drifted off the road
Found that I was driving past your house
But I was on my way home
You weren't there
You never saw me
It was my fear
Held out before me
She blinded your sight
With hopes and dreams you never knew
Come back tonight, forget her
I'll be your nurse, forever
You weren't there
You never saw me
It was my fear
Held out before me
You weren't there
You never saw me
Please take my fear
Held out before me
Driving home this night I'll think of you
Of how far we'd've come, of all we'll never go through
Found I wasn't driving past your house
I've come to the conclusion...
original lyrics 2008 bricrane
My mind drifted off the road
Found that I was driving past your house
But I was on my way home
You weren't there
You never saw me
It was my fear
Held out before me
She blinded your sight
With hopes and dreams you never knew
Come back tonight, forget her
I'll be your nurse, forever
You weren't there
You never saw me
It was my fear
Held out before me
You weren't there
You never saw me
Please take my fear
Held out before me
Driving home this night I'll think of you
Of how far we'd've come, of all we'll never go through
Found I wasn't driving past your house
I've come to the conclusion...
original lyrics 2008 bricrane
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
And You, It's Not All About Me
I'm sorry
it had to end this way
Surely our friendship
lasts longer than this day
Why did
it have to come to this?
I'm almost 21
Never been kissed
How can you forgive me
for all I put you through
Believing that my future has
nothing to do with you
The candle burns
right down to the wick
The last few years
have flown by all too quick
How can you forgive me
for all I put you through
Believing that my future has
nothing to do with you
How can you forgive me
when I can't forgive myself
I don't believe I broke your heart
cause it's saved for someone else
How can you forgive me
After all, this is the truth
But I believe your future holds
more than me for you
I'm sorry
(I'm almost 21)
It had to end this way
(Never been kissed)
original lyrics 2008 bricrane
it had to end this way
Surely our friendship
lasts longer than this day
Why did
it have to come to this?
I'm almost 21
Never been kissed
How can you forgive me
for all I put you through
Believing that my future has
nothing to do with you
The candle burns
right down to the wick
The last few years
have flown by all too quick
How can you forgive me
for all I put you through
Believing that my future has
nothing to do with you
How can you forgive me
when I can't forgive myself
I don't believe I broke your heart
cause it's saved for someone else
How can you forgive me
After all, this is the truth
But I believe your future holds
more than me for you
I'm sorry
(I'm almost 21)
It had to end this way
(Never been kissed)
original lyrics 2008 bricrane
If You Knew the Future, Would You Still Ask These Questions? (Doors and Hallways)
Walking down the hallway
of the choices of my life
Cobwebs of distraction
Tangle up my sight
Doorways of decision
To what might be or what may come
Rooms remain unknown
Until they're made a home
Which one to choose?
Which key to turn?
or how, or when?
I'm yet to learn
Brush away the cobwebs
Sweep away the dust
Oil up the hinges
Scrape away the rust
Find the key that fits the lock
Turn it if you dare
Open up the door of choice
Step into the glare
Which one to choose?
Which key to turn?
or how, or when?
Begin to learn
The stairway leads to Heaven
The sky becomes the ceiling
Leave behind the cobwebs
Step up into freedom
Which one to choose?
Which key to turn?
or how, or when?
Begin to yearn
I'm walking down a hallway
There's lights in every room
Doors open wide before me
I'll be coming home soon
original lyrics 2008 bricrane
of the choices of my life
Cobwebs of distraction
Tangle up my sight
Doorways of decision
To what might be or what may come
Rooms remain unknown
Until they're made a home
Which one to choose?
Which key to turn?
or how, or when?
I'm yet to learn
Brush away the cobwebs
Sweep away the dust
Oil up the hinges
Scrape away the rust
Find the key that fits the lock
Turn it if you dare
Open up the door of choice
Step into the glare
Which one to choose?
Which key to turn?
or how, or when?
Begin to learn
The stairway leads to Heaven
The sky becomes the ceiling
Leave behind the cobwebs
Step up into freedom
Which one to choose?
Which key to turn?
or how, or when?
Begin to yearn
I'm walking down a hallway
There's lights in every room
Doors open wide before me
I'll be coming home soon
original lyrics 2008 bricrane
Friday, October 17, 2008
What are you afraid of?
What is it that drives us?
What keeps us going?
What do we strive for?
What do we long for?
What do we dream of?
And is a dream something that is more like a goal or is it, by (I think) definition, something unreal, something perhaps achievable but something beyond what we can foresee? For, to me, a dream is, by definition, an un-reality - just part of the subconscious. But that gets into a debate on the function of our mind. And then onto the physical boundaries and limits of the human mind. Or perhaps a better box would be the human brain... I diverse...
What are you afraid of?
What are you willing to give up, to sacrifice, to risk, in order to go somewhere in life? And where is that somewhere? And is it worth it?
Does fear drive you?
Does love drive you?
Are fears and insecurities the same thing?
Is there an umbrella 'fear'?
I would like to suggest that there is - it is the fear of the unknown. This fear feeds the fear of consequences; the fear of rejection; the fear of failure. It gives birth to the little insecurities that help govern our everyday life. 'Do I push through the orange light or brake hard and stop at the red?' 'Do I speak up and say what is on my mind, or keep quiet and let someone else do the speaking?' 'Do I make a decision that leads to a minor change, which may then have a domino effect, resulting in a major change?'
It's speculation. It's the 'what if?' the 'but...' It's the indecisiveness ("maybe I'm indecisive").
It breeds regret. It harvests self-pity and weighs down self-esteem.
Why are we afraid?
What do we have to be afraid of?
Are we happy where we are, what we are doing and don't want change? Change is inevitable. (Resistance is futile.)
WHY?
Why do we ask questions we do not know the answers to?
Why do we ask questions we do not want an answer to?
Why do we ask questions when we know an answer does not exist?
Why do we ask questions at all?
"Where does it come from? This quest - this need to solve life's mysteries when the simplest of questions can never be answered? Why are we here? What is the soul? Why do we dream? Perhaps we'd be better off not looking at all. Not delving. Not yearning. That's not human nature. Not the human heart. That is not why we are here." ~ Heroes Season 1 Episode 1
Is it merely human nature?
Just our inquisitive minds?
And does not knowing, not wanting, or knowing an answer does not exist dispell the need or relevance of a question?
What are you afraid of?
It's just a question.
What keeps us going?
What do we strive for?
What do we long for?
What do we dream of?
And is a dream something that is more like a goal or is it, by (I think) definition, something unreal, something perhaps achievable but something beyond what we can foresee? For, to me, a dream is, by definition, an un-reality - just part of the subconscious. But that gets into a debate on the function of our mind. And then onto the physical boundaries and limits of the human mind. Or perhaps a better box would be the human brain... I diverse...
What are you afraid of?
What are you willing to give up, to sacrifice, to risk, in order to go somewhere in life? And where is that somewhere? And is it worth it?
Does fear drive you?
Does love drive you?
Are fears and insecurities the same thing?
Is there an umbrella 'fear'?
I would like to suggest that there is - it is the fear of the unknown. This fear feeds the fear of consequences; the fear of rejection; the fear of failure. It gives birth to the little insecurities that help govern our everyday life. 'Do I push through the orange light or brake hard and stop at the red?' 'Do I speak up and say what is on my mind, or keep quiet and let someone else do the speaking?' 'Do I make a decision that leads to a minor change, which may then have a domino effect, resulting in a major change?'
It's speculation. It's the 'what if?' the 'but...' It's the indecisiveness ("maybe I'm indecisive").
It breeds regret. It harvests self-pity and weighs down self-esteem.
Why are we afraid?
What do we have to be afraid of?
Are we happy where we are, what we are doing and don't want change? Change is inevitable. (Resistance is futile.)
WHY?
Why do we ask questions we do not know the answers to?
Why do we ask questions we do not want an answer to?
Why do we ask questions when we know an answer does not exist?
Why do we ask questions at all?
"Where does it come from? This quest - this need to solve life's mysteries when the simplest of questions can never be answered? Why are we here? What is the soul? Why do we dream? Perhaps we'd be better off not looking at all. Not delving. Not yearning. That's not human nature. Not the human heart. That is not why we are here." ~ Heroes Season 1 Episode 1
Is it merely human nature?
Just our inquisitive minds?
And does not knowing, not wanting, or knowing an answer does not exist dispell the need or relevance of a question?
What are you afraid of?
It's just a question.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Dilemma
The heartbeat races faster
As it grows closer to the time
The headache proves the tension
Between my heart and mind
Blood rises to the surface
Whenever you're around
Your audience is captivated
They needn't make a sound
So naive to the perceptions
Of the world beyond my own
The ink acts as a reminder
That's why I sing this song
This is my dilemma
Why I cannot make a choice
Between the options laid before me
So I'm singing through the noise
The empty bottle on the table
Beckons just one more
The tunes play through the iPod
"Take me on the floor"
So naive to the perceptions
Of the world beyond my own
The ink acts as a reminder
That's why I sing this song
This is my dilemma
Why I cannot make a choice
Between the options laid before me
So I'm singing through the noise
original lyrics 2008 bricrane
As it grows closer to the time
The headache proves the tension
Between my heart and mind
Blood rises to the surface
Whenever you're around
Your audience is captivated
They needn't make a sound
So naive to the perceptions
Of the world beyond my own
The ink acts as a reminder
That's why I sing this song
This is my dilemma
Why I cannot make a choice
Between the options laid before me
So I'm singing through the noise
The empty bottle on the table
Beckons just one more
The tunes play through the iPod
"Take me on the floor"
So naive to the perceptions
Of the world beyond my own
The ink acts as a reminder
That's why I sing this song
This is my dilemma
Why I cannot make a choice
Between the options laid before me
So I'm singing through the noise
original lyrics 2008 bricrane
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